6 months plus a day!

It's hard to believe that it's already been 6 months that Linds and I started dating. Honestly, it still baffles me sometimes just how things turned out.

We always joked about how we should just marry each other in x amount of years if we're both single because it's as if it's a sign. When I think about that, I give a chuckle ... little did we know, we're on that path right now.

6 months... it just flew by. Through all the plane rides, the road trips... we've done so much in these past few months, experienced so much, built up not just our relationship, but also our friendship. She said it best. The reason our relationship is so strong, is because we have a friendship that is stronger than anything anyone can imagine.. and I believe that 100%. What better relationship can come from best friends that fully trust each other, confine in each other and know that no matter what, they'll always be there by their side?

I sent her lilies... I figured she was getting tired of the roses I always got her. Gotta change it up sometimes! Plus, I'm working on something else... something she would never guess.. something that will be sentimental and hopefully put a big smile on her face. I can picture her giving that face that she's known for when she's super excited.. mouth open, hands up by her shoulders.. almost speechless like.

At least that's what I"m hoping for!

Despite there being the distance, we do everything we can to make it work. Yeah, it's harder at some points more than others.. but we make it through. I wish I could have been there yesterday for her, to cook her a nice dinner, curl up and watch a movie with her... Oh well, will just have to wait till next week!

Time is flying.. Can't believe Hawaii is only 9 days away. Well, actually, no.. I'm right, 9 days from now we'll be like an hour away from landing in Honolulu! I'm just hoping time slows down once we get there.

She always asks me why I love her so much... why she's so special to me... why she's unlike any other girl I've ever met. I do my best to tell her, but after typing it and reading it.. it doesn't even touch upon everything how I feel. The feeling is truly indescribable. 

Thank you for the adventures, the "traditions" we've grown accustomed to (Red Robin/Eggs Benny), For reassuring me that you'll always be there for me whenever it's needed. Thank you for so much, this blog would never end if I wrote down all the thank you's :P

So here's to 6 months, and many, many more.

I love you.

An interesting few days...

I really haven't been myself these last few days. I've been in a funk i guess you would say.

I don't know what it is. I have my ideas but as to whether that's the actual reason or not. I don't know.

I told Lindsey that a reason i think I've been somewhat insecure these last few days is because i just lost my grandma and many would say i didn't grieve properly. Truth is.. I think they're right. I've really only cried once since she passed. Once again i thought i had to be the strong one for everyone. With me doing that i think i kind of suppressed some of my emotions and those are starting to make an appearance now.

I lost my grandma. A major person in my life is gone and it scares me that there are times that its difficult for me to remember how she looked... How her voice sounds... Everything that i use to take for granted and was use to seems to be a memory that i need to hold onto in fear i may lose that connection i have.. The only real connection i have.

So yeah. I lost my grandma and i think in part of my grieving Im afraid of losing other people in my life. Not just from death. But just people no longer being in my life the way they are now. I know that Linds is aware of this since ive told her how Im feeling.

I havent been treating her right these last few days... I really feel like I've been failing as a boyfriend and not making her as happy as i could. When I've been in my funk.. Id go quiet and not talk much... We have to cherish the time that we have together because, as of right now, its not all the time that we can see each other.

Im leaving tonight.. And i think it may be the most difficult departure ive had. I know were seeing each other in 17 days for Hawaii and stuff.. And i can't wait for that. But its the days apart that frighten me. Linds is my security blanket. She's the one who is always there for me. To console me and hold me and let me know that everything will be ok. There's been a few times this trip where she's done just that. Most apparent would be laying in bed one night.. I was having a real tough time with everything and my grandma was on my mind. Linds just laid there with me. Running her hand along my cheek comforting me and telling me everything is going to be alright. I guess that's the thing that scares me is that.. Im still going through this and know that she won't be there to give me a kiss and console me. I know she will do everything she can to make it as easy for me. She's amazing in that way.

She's amazing in countless ways. I remember she told me a while ago that she doesn't think she deserves me... Doesn't deserve to be treated the way i treat her... Truth be told. Its the opposite. I question myself as to how i was able to get a girl like her. Someone so intelligent. So determined and driven... Someone so beautiful.

I was laying in bed last night and thinking to myself about how we came to be. The girl from the forum for clubs. Who became an msn contact. Who became a texting contact. Which eventually turned into long phone calls.

She was the girl that i always told id meet up with at the stampede and never did. The girl that would take time out of her busy schedule just to speak to me for a bit.

She's been there for me through a lot. Through tears of joy and sorrow. Through big news and bad. She was the one person i could always count on and was usually the first one id always go to about something major. She would know before my family knew on most occasions.

So as i lay here on the couch. On my last day here. Im sad because Im leaving. But happy because we've done so much. Were doing what we always said we would; building memories and going on adventures.

My grandma wouldn't want me to be sad. She would want me to be happy. To celebrate her life and know that there will always be a piece of her in me. Sometimes i hate how much emotions can alter your mood.

Lindsey didn't deserve to have to deal with me while i was this way. But she did. Just confirms how amazing of a girl she is. And why Im so lucky to have her.

I really do wish that i could find the words to tell her just what she means to me. I've been looking for those words for a long time. Perhaps one day they will come to me.

Just by writing this its made me feel a bit better about everything. :)

A lot to catch up on...

Nearly two months since my last blog post.

I don't even know where to begin. So much has happened in that time that it's difficult for me to remember everything.

In two months, there has been pure excitement, happiness, and sorrow.

I suppose, the two "big" stories would be my sister getting married, and the passing of my grandma.

I sit here at Lindsey's house.. and know that I want to write a big blog about my grandma.. about her life, about my time spent with her... but even just writing that last sentence hurts. Maybe I'm not exactly ready to touch upon it yet. If I'm going to write a blog post about her, I'm going to make sure it's a damn good one. One that isn't written to bring tears of sadness, but one that brings tears of happiness, of a fulfilled life. That is what she would want. That is the least that I can do. I just don't think today is a day that I want to spend with tears running down my face as I write... another day, another time.

Ashley's wedding was amazing. I had a great time, and I think everyone else did too. Though, I'll admit, it's still weird to say "Ashley's husband" or "my brother-in-law". With time I suppose.

She had her wedding at Swan-e-set golf course. Was a great ceremony, wasn't anything super formal, there were laughs, tears and smiles shared by all. I was Ashley's witness, so was one of the first to be able to congratulate them. So what do I do? give the patented "Travis high-5" to each of them.

Ceremony was fun, good food, got to see/hang out with family that I hadn't seen in a while. Got to *finally* dance with Lindsey properly :P

All in all, it was a fantastic wedding, and Ashley and Jon are still on their honeymoon for another few days.

I had my interview with the Calgary Fire Dept. on Wednesday. I'll hear back from them early next week. Truth be told, I'm not too hopeful on it. I don't feel like my interview was as solid as it could have been. But I've pulled things out of my ass before, perhaps I did it again.

Heading back home tomorrow, spent the last 11 days here in Calgary. Gets harder and harder to go home every time. But it will only be 17 days apart before I pick her up from the airport and hang out for a day and a bit before heading to Hawaii with my parents, Ash and my brother in law (gotta say it in order to get use to it!). Will be fun :) Ash and Jon are coming out for a weekend just to be there to spread some of my grandma's ash's.

Lindsey and I are still great. Having a great time, going on adventures, making laughs, and building memories. Best relationship I've been in, ever.

Have a big decision to make in regards to work (Pegasus) though I'm pretty much certain I know what I'm going to do. But still a big step forward but I know I have the help and support if I need.

Sushi tonight with Lindsey/Brad/Danielle/"Papa bear" (assuming people respond to Linds!). I love going for sushi with people who are new to it, the look on their face when I eat sashimi or other things is always funny, plus it's nice to see people try something new and the look on their face when they *hopefully* like it.

Feels good to write a blog and put down everything, good way to look back and remember what was going on in my life, I get pretty forgetful at times.

I'll have more posts in the future, promise. :)

Oh! One last thing. 6 months with Linds in 10 days... crazy! Times flown by, can't believe it's been 6 months already. But like I said, we're doing great, and making the most of every moment we have.

That's all for now!